Akatsuki Fanfiction

Title: Tough Love
Date: Valentine's Day
Area: Akatsuki Hideout

Pein: Ahhh this is so calm and peaceful. WAIT CALM? PEACEFUL? WE NEVER HAVE DAYS LIKE THIS!!!!!
Konan: WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Tobi: I know why it's so peaceful!
Pein: WHY!?!?!?
Tobi: It's VALENTINE'S DAY
Pein: BARRACADE THE DOOR, LOCK THE WINDOWS,RUN, HIDE, SAVE YOURSELF!
Konan: What's with him
Zetsu: Every year there's a fangirl invasion
Konan: At least I'm safe
Zetsu: Yeah but you have fan boys
Konan:
Me: I'm the only one here safe I don't have fangirls.
Zetsu: I don't have any fangirls
Me: Yes you do *shows security video of a garden club meeting*
*Video*
Gardener 1: Today's meeting is about Zetsu
Gardeners: **sigh**
*End Video*
Zetsu:
Me: I'm safe so I'll just be asleep *yawns*
Konan: We're doomed
Pein: Kakazu any fangirls yet
Kakazu: No none yet
Pein: That's odd by now the door would be broken down and I'd be the only one left in the base
Cupid: Konan or Zetsu? Who should I shot? I guess Konan.
Konan: Ow! ZETsu? I never noticed how hot you are.
Zetsu: And you look very pretty today
Konan:
Zetsu:
Deidara: Is it just me or are Zetsu and Konan acting weirder than normal
Sasori: Nope they are acting weirder than normal
Tobi: Cupid got them
Zetsu: *serenades Konan*
Konan:
Zetsu: Konan's lovely flower I love you
Konan: What you don't love me
Zetsu: No I don't
Konan: Here take it. *runs to Pein crying*
Pein: There there.
Konan: Would you be my valentine today?
Pein: Fine.
Zetsu: WHAT YOU'RE PAPER!?
Konan: Well now his heart is broken too
*in the bases living room*
Zetsu: What's this.
Note: This one's real
Zetsu: YAY!!!!
Konan: *kisses Pein*
Pein:
Konan: I love you
Pein: Hold on Kakazu any fangirls or fanboys
Kakazu: Yes an army!
Pein: DOWN THE MANHOLE
Kakazu: What about me?
Pein: Cut the rope ladder
Kakazu: But that will cost money to replace
Pein: I don't care
Kakazu: Fine
Konan: I'm down
Sasori: I'm down
Deidara: I'm down
Tobi: Tobi is a good boy
Hidan: I'm down
Zetsu: I'm down
Itache: I'm down
Kisame: I'm down
Pein: I'm down bye Kakazu
Itache: It's sealed from the inside we can get in the base but they can't get down here.
Pein: Good let's get to the safe rooms just in case eave a note that says we're all in Konan's safe room. And we have to get there now.
Kisame: But that won't do any good we won't be able to get out in time if they do get down here.
Pein: Vents. Many vents.
Konan: We use the vents to get to our real safe room's deep underground.
Pein: Exactly
*Manhole breaks open*
Pein: Oh no
Me: The fangirls and fanboys are gone and Kakazu is dead.
Pein: Oh hey do you want the job.
Me: Sure
Pein: You're hired
Me: Ok I'm gonna go loot Kakazu's body for his room key, safe code, and his wallet.
Pein: Ok fine, but you have to split the money.
Me: Fine
*heard while everyone is getting back into the base*
Ghost Of Kakuzu:

Once I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
Oh... my unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa, now I eat humble pie
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
And now I work at the Pizza Pizza

1 2 3 4!

Royalty, lord it looked good on me
Buried in silk in the royal boudoir or going nuclear free
Or playing Crokinole with the Princess of Monaco
Telling my jokes to the OPEC leaders, getting it all on video

Once I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
A palatial palace, that was my home, now I eat humble pie
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
And now I vacuum the turf at SkyDome
Once he was the King of Spain

I can't wait, I'm lowering interest rates, my people say:
"King, how are you such a genius?
There's a roof overhead
and food on our plates!"

It's laissez-faire, I don't even give a care
Let's make Friday part of the weekend
And give every new baby a chocolate eclair

Once I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
Hey Clinton! Hey Yeltsin! Got problems?
You phone me, now I eat humble pie
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
Now the Leafs call me up to drive the Zamboni
Once he was the King of Spain

Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you the international orchestra!

Now some of you might be wondering how I came to be living in Canada
after being royalty in Spain. Should I tell them, guys?
Tell us, King!

You see late one night when the palace was asleep
Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep
And I wait till the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch
At which point my peasant friend, who looks just like me
Arrives so we make switch!
(gasp)

Prince and pauper, junior and whopper
World made up of silver and copper
Under my own volition, I took a change of position
So next time you drool in the pizza line
Remember, slower pizza's more luscious
The King of Spain never rushes!!!

Once I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
I was lookin' for off-handed ways to improve us, now I eat humble pie
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
And now I'm jamming with Moxy Fruvous!

Once he was the King of Spain